Go Away...

You shatter my confidence
You play with my most treasured feelings
You walk all over my pride and dont even look back to see,
the shards left behind
My splintered dream is screaming
My heart is numb
My head feels the pain but it's gasping for breath,
smothered by the will I try to exert on it,
to move on...
forget you
forget even trying to think of you
forget your face, your voice, your breath
I try to read the words that swim in fornt of my eyes
All I see is your sleeping face
I try to get my pen to write
All I end up with is doodles on the page
I blink, shake my head and try again
All that comes to mind is a map and the line I need to trace to get to you
Who gave you the right to paly this way?
Who showed you the way to my world?
All you have done is thrown it apart
All you do now is watch
Watch as I struggle to get away
Struggle to find the ground you pulled away
And I still dont hate you
I wish I could
But all I can do is laugh at myself
For being nothing but a toy you tossed away
But behind this laugh is something more
The shards cut me inside
You cannot see
You cannot hear
How would you!
I haven't uttered a sound
All you can see is the tiny smile on my lips
That's all I am willing to show
That's all I'll let you have off me now
That's all I can do as I see the darkness swell...

Forever?

Why is shaking off a thought the hardest thing to do?
The more you try to put someone out of your head,
the more your mind clings to just that person.
Just that one thought.
Blocking every attempt to self-preserve.
Self destruction?
No, I wouldn't call it that.
Silly really...
But, I would say,
Emotional robbery...
Why do I let my feelings be plundered?
Holding on to an image that will never come out of my mind's darkroom?
Sometimes I manage to laugh. At myslef.
I let this image, this thought, simmer.
Hoping, that it doesn't last forever.
The heat's slowly melting my defences.
Maybe that is how my fate will replace this image with another...

Cold...

Soft rain, roaring sea
Wet sand, no prints
Empty heart, absent thoughts
Dark clouds, warm tears
Let them drop
Get lost
My shadow's gone
I am cold

My first Scottish sunset :-)

Golfer Paradise.... The Old Course at St Andrews

The lovely North Sea

Teardrop

By the last hour of the night,
time passes swiftly towards the first morning light.

The full moon stands pale and lovely, in a starless canvas.
Its edges a silver bright.

The quiet unsettles silent sparks.
Liquid gaps, touched, collapse...
The last moonlit hour stands guard.

I remain but a teardrop in the folds of your memory...